Boundary Issues

My adoptive children all have boundary issues.

Zoe struggles with this.  Al struggles with this.  Neither of them can seem to have similar aged peer friendships.  Their friends tend to be many years younger.

This creates significant issues when dating type relationships occur.  We have had a hard and fast rule for many years that you cannot date anyone younger than 18 once you hit your 18th birthday.  Both Zoe and Al have lied consistently about their girlfriends and boyfriends since becoming 18.

Zoe once had a dating relationship with a young man that was over 18.

That's it.  One time one of them chose someone over 18 to date.

It is a never ending battle.  Not sure if they will ever understand this.  I get that it's because of their lack of appropriate brain development from their FASDs.  Their chronological ages do not match their developmental ages.  But our society will not be okay if their dating relationship becomes a sexual one with an under aged person.  That's why we have this rule.

Do they get it?  Sometimes.  Can they live it?  No.